What I Rented - Lady in the Water

Lady in the Water is three rewrites away from being a good movie. That’s not to say that this is a disaster, but it is an incredibly unfocused film, spending more time on bizarre exposition than the many interesting characters M. Night Shyamalan has created.

Now, the plot is a jumbled mess with far too many “rules”. As far as I can tell, it has to do with a Narf named Story, a sea creature who can inspire man so that man will create peace and harmony in the world. The Narf meets an apartment superintendent named Cleveland (Paul Giamatti) who has some dark secrets of his own. He must put Story in touch with people in the apartment building who will help her accomplish her mission and find a way home (on a giant eagle). Standing in the way are Scrunts, who are grassy wolf creatures sent to kill narfs. Oh, and there are Tree Monkeys called Tartutic who I think are supposed to kill scrunts, but I’m not quite sure what they’re doing in the movie.

Got that?

I’m really torn with Lady in the Water. Part of me wants to scream; to yell out that M. Night Shyamalan has bought into his own hype and is writing to appease a massive ego that has spiraled way out of control. I mean….aside from the convoluted story….did he need to cast himself in the pivotal role of a writer destined to change the world? Did the most hateful character have to be a movie critic? Why are so many scenes shot from one obscure angle? And is it just me, or is calling it a Bedtime Story just a defense mechanism against critics who will rail against the movie’s sloppy storytelling? You didn’t like it….well that’s cause you’re a grumpy evil movie critic who doesn’t remember what it’s like to be a child!

But, the other side of me is kind of awed by the moments of vision scattered throughout the mess. When the tenants of the apartment complex start to realize they have roles to play in the legend, there are some genuinely heartfelt and humorous moments. A scene in which Jeffrey Wright (who also helped buoy up the flawed Casino Royale) tries to decode secret messages from the words in his crossword puzzle works wonderfully thanks to Wright’s utter conviction. In Wright’s performance you sense that he understands the ridiculousness of the situation while at the same time basking in his importance to the world.

As the tenants start to realize their potential, the movie hints at its own potential. There is a wonderful story here about nobodies who discover that their mundane daily rituals are really the tools needed to save the world. It’s just too bad that it’s hidden beneath layers of narfs, scrunts, and tartutic.

Star Rating - ** (out of 4)