Transformers

What a bizarre, mess of a movie. Transformers is perhaps the most unusual film of the year (or any year for that matter); a sci-fi epic that is gloriously over-the-top, hardly makes a lick of sense (I doubt even the human characters are from Planet Earth), and ends with the most bombastic and chaotic action scene I have ever seen.

As the final credit rolled I couldn't tell if Michael Bay had just directed the most brilliant B-movie of all time, or a colossally misguided clunker. Regardless, or perhaps because of its schizophrenic nature, I enjoyed the film, although often for reasons that I'm sure were unintentional.

Everything actually starts out quite well. There's an impressive action scene involving a group of American soldiers in Qatar who are attacked by a helicopter Transformer. Then, the action cuts to the story of Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), a nerdy teen, who is looking forward to buying his first car so he'll have better luck with the ladies. LaBeouf is surprisingly good in the role, and the early scenes involving the purchase of his Transformer car are pretty funny.

Then Bay introduces the female love interest played by Megan Fox, and the warning light starts flashing. I get that the movie is made for teenage boys, so I'm not expecting a deep relationship, but Fox is clearly window dressing, a complete and utter male fantasy who Michael Bay shoots with a fetishistic glee that would be more at home on Skinemax. You see, she's hot, but deep down she just wants to be around guys who appreciate her true talents, like the fact that she knows everything about cars (clearly something most guys would find unattractive and repulsive).

Then the movie just starts introducing an abundance of random characters on top of Sam, and the soldiers we met in the opening scene. Jon Voight shows up as the defense secretary, and there's a whole bunch of attractive code breakers. Suddenly, the script's subplots start mounting, and it becomes painfully clear that the movie is turning into a jumbled mess.

The central concept of a boy buying a car with special powers, while potentially interesting, is never really developed. Bay is too interested getting into the meaty robot action scenes to spend any considerable time with the characters.

At this point I have to admit I was worried. I didn't really care about anyone in the movie, aside from Sam (LaBeouf really should be commended for his gusto), too much was happening that I could care less about (those code breakers kept coming back with other, wackier code breakers), and the humour was becoming stale. But, just as I was giving up hope, an interesting thing started to happen. The heroic Transformers arrived from outer space and suddenly the movie decided that logic, and tone were unimportant.

There is a sequence halfway through the movie where the Transformers want to get some historical eye-glasses from Sam (long story) and they hide out in his yard, while Sam's parents start to become suspicious that something weird is going on. This section of the movie could quite literally be from an episode of Three's Company with Sam's parents as the Ropers, and the Transformers as the beautiful women Jack Tripper (Sam) is trying to prevent them from seeing. The fifty foot Transformers hide behind trees, under trellises, and in the bushes, all while Sam's parents (who must have lost their vision and hearing since the beginning of the movie) believe Sam is up to some independent sexual exploration in his room. The scene goes on and on, getting worse and worse, yet oddly hilarious, with each passing second. It's a train wreck of a scene, and just when I didn't think it could get any more ridiculous, John Turturro knocks on Sam's front door.

Now I like John Turturro, but someone seems to have forgotten to tell him that Transformers was not being directed by the Coen Brothers. Turturro enters the movie in full-on Barton Fink bat-ass crazy mode.

All of the plot threads converge oh so conveniently at the Hoover Dam subterranean alien laboratory (where it is finally revealed that aside from Sam's story, the other plots are utterly useless and were indeed just a waste of time), and it doesn't take long for Megatron, the evil alien robot, to cause some havoc with the heroic Transformers, who pass time by sitting on top of Griffith Observatory like it's a park bench.

The grand finale; a half hour robot smackdown in the streets of Los Angeles is, unfortunately not very imaginative (although there are some clever moments), but Bay seems to cover up his lack of ideas by blowing up every single thing known to mankind. It's messy chaos. Half the time I couldn't tell which robots were fighting, and the action is so busy, that it is difficult to follow what is even happening. The army guys yell a lot and shoot their guns. Sam runs a lot. Sam's hot girlfriend finally does something useful involving a tow truck (remember she's really knowledgeable about cars). Basically, it's just a whole lot of insanity, with an ending that I still don't really understand.

Yet, despite how bad it all is, it's so goofy, and entertaining that I couldn't stop laughing. Every year I usually nominate a tongue-in-cheek B-movie that is ten times more fun than it has every right to be (movies like Deep Blue Sea or The Core). I have to say that despite it's huge budget, big name pedigree, and the fact that I'm not sure if it was trying to be tongue-in-cheek, Transformers is my top nomination for the year. For those still on the fence I will refer you to the scene where Turturro takes on a mini-transformer with a flame thrower while Jon Voight dutifully backs him up with a shotgun. It may not be high art, but a moment like that is some form of cinematic bliss.

Star Rating **1/2 out of 4

Ratatouille

Thank goodness for Pixar!

After a disappointing start to the summer movie season (with no real stand out films), Ratatouille is a beacon of hope, proudly declaring that good, entertaining movies with interesting characters and exciting action still exist. It may be marketed as a children's film, but don't let that fool you. This is quite simply the smartest, most mature popcorn flick of the year, not mention the most fun.

It's not that I should be overly surprised. Pixar has consistently put out movies that are so creative and refreshing, that they have become somewhat of a Godsend in the often soulless pit of Hollywood blockbuster filmmaking. Even their last film Cars, which I will admit is my least favourite of their movies, managed to show last year's onslaught of hyperactive cartoons that you don't need screaming characters, constant action, hip comedy, and a script that talks down to its audience in order to make a heartfelt children's film.

Simply put, they know what they're doing, and Ratatouille is wonderful. It's about a rat, Remy, who wants to be the finest chef in all of Paris, and is given his chance when he teams up with a bumbling dishboy, Linguini, at a legendary (albeit past its prime) restaurant. When Remy's meals start winning over new customers, it's Linguini who takes the credit, but head chef Skinner isn't about to let the upstart cook take over his kitchen.

Ratatouille succeeds on three major levels. It provides interesting characters and allows them to grow, it manages to create a rat's eye view of the world that hilariously comments on human nature, and it unifies everything with a heart warming theme that is instantly relatable to every audience member. It's the Pixar model of success - Character, Point of View, and Theme.

Aside from Remy and Linguini, our leading duo, Ratatouille is filled with wonderful characters. My favourite being Anton Ego, the harshest food critic in Paris voiced to perfection by Peter O'Toole. Ego lives for food, but has forgotten how to enjoy the simple pleasures in life. He writes in a coffin shaped room, hoping that his scathing criticisms will doom mediocre restaurants. Ego has very little screen time, but the Pixar team manages to use every second to create a fleshed out monster. As the story nears it's conclusion, Ego has a monologue, so well written and delivered, that I found myself more emotionally involved with his supporting character than I have been with most film's lead characters.

As for the point of view, it's difficult to make a movie that refreshingly looks through the eyes of an animal species, but Ratatouille manages to make almost everything fresh. Sure there are a few scenes where the "humans are bad" symbolism is a bit heavy, but for the most part Remy's conflict between following his outlandish humanized dream or appeasing his garbage-loving rat family is unique. I also particularly enjoy how Remy is merely a bystander to a world he vaguely understands. He has no control, and at times is caught up in a whirlwind of human activity in order to survive. A thrilling sequence early on has Remy trying to escape the kitchen while avoiding detection. It's an exceptionally exciting set piece, and it's hiliarious to see how a common kitchen can be a series of death traps.

But it wouldn't mean anything if there wasn't a theme to connect all the dots. This time, it's broadly stated in the title of the book Remy adores called Anyone Can Cook. While the follow you dreams theme has been excessively used in past movies, it has rarely felt more suitable or original than in Ratatouille. As the multiple plot threads weave toward the finale, everything connects in an emotionally fulfilling way. I will admit to even being a bit choked up by the film.

Ratatouille is easily one of my favourite films of the year. It's brilliant, and further cements Pixar's repuation as the best animation studio, or film studio for that matter, in North America. Not since the early days of Walt Disney has there been such a consistent outpouring of excellence by a group of dedicated artists. It's a shame I have to wait another year for their next movie.

Star Rating - **** out of 4

Ocean's 13

I'm pleased to say that Ocean's 13 is definitely an improvement over the far too lazy Ocean's 12. The plot is more coherent this time around, the heist has lots of different parts that need to connect at just the right moments, and the actors all have a role to play (unlike Ocean's 12 where half the cast seemed to be along just for a trip to Europe).

But, the film still suffers from a case of sequelitis, a not so rare disease in which subsequent films, in an attempt to capture the magic of the first film, essentially gives us the first film all over again with a few changes here and there (see Home Alone 2 and Ghostbusters 2 for other examples of sequelitis).

There's no reason for this movie to exist, and while I was entertained by it, I was also annoyed by its lack of novelty. The characters are the same at the end of the movie as they are at the beginning (only they have a far greater appreciation of Oprah).

Since the formula hasn't changed all that much, the audience waits for the plan's different elements to click into place, is given a few scenes where the plan looks like it's in danger of failing, and then watches as Danny Ocean's crew cleverly sidesteps each small hurtle. At no point is there any doubt that the plan won't work, and as the movie winds down, I found myself checking off the inevitable twists and turns. There are no surprises.

The movie also rushes by at a breakneck pace, speeding through plot points at such a ferocious speed that many important elements are glossed over. I'm still trying to figure out what the deal was with the slot machines...I know it's in the movie, but everything was coming at me so fast that I missed it.

What there is, is a talented cast having fun, and the movie does provide some humourous scenes. I liked how their infiltration of a Mexican dice factory (in order to fix the craps dice) leads to a worker's strike. Matt Damon's seduction of Ellen Barkin provides some great moments, and Pitt and Clooney certainly have a natural chemistry together.

It's an entertaining flick, but even the laughs are somewhat hollow since the jokes are basically recycled from the first two movies.

I guess I'm moderately recommending the movie. It's certainly fun, but fleeting. I can only hope this is the last in the series - these folks are far too talented to regurgitate another caper flick.

Star Rating - **1/2 out of 4

Severance

At the beginning of Severance seven employees of an international weapons manufacturing company head off to the Eastern European woods for a fun corporate team building session. When they get there, the lodge is less than ideal, the food isn't plentiful, and the surrounding woods are inhabited by a vicious killer. As the group struggles to survive, they begin to realize that even though they make the weapons, that doesn't count for anything when the blood starts to flow.

Severance is a nice find; a jet black comic horror film with interesting characters, seat squirming situations (oh bear traps!), unexpected laughs, and plenty of suspense. Director Christopher Smith has a nice grasp on the horror genre and finds simple, but effective ways to amp up the tension. There's a nice sequence in the opening act involving cleverly timed sound effects that turns potentially boring moments into hilariously tense teases. Smith is playing with the audience, and having a great time doing so.

When the killer finally strikes, the movie doesn't just settle at being a series of stalks and kills; it finds unique ways to surprise the audience. One of my favourite moments occurs during a "safe" scene, one of those moments in horror films where characters let down their guards so the film can offer up some much needed character development. In Severance, Smith lets the "safe" scene occur in the foreground, while the killer silently strikes in the background.

Even more refreshing is the level of satire at work here. It's not brilliant, but this is a pointed horror film, obviously unleashing some frustration on weapon's manufacturers. Some of the funniest scenes have to do with just how inept these people are when it comes to actually using the weapons they have marketed and created. The introduction of a life saving rocket launcher quickly turns a moment of celebration into a moment of true horror.

Severance is also anchored by incredibly likable performers. Laura Harris combines her genuine sweetness with a violent, primal urge to survive, while Danny Dyer manages to turn the stereotypical "stoner" character into a hilarious shlub on the verge of manhood. Unlike many horror films, I was rooting for these characters to survive.

Severance is a fun, scary movie that uses the slasher film conventions in order to make sly comments on our weapons obsessed culture.

*** out of 4

Spider-Man 3

Spider-Man 3 arrives with lofty expectations. After the critical and commercial success of the first two movies (both of which I highly enjoyed), this sequel has a lot to live up to. So, cutting to the chase; does it work? As a raccous blockbuster event movie, it certainly succeeds on creating epic scale action scenes that are fun and memorable. On a character level; however, Spider-Man 3 packs in so many new faces that it's hard for anyone who wasn't in the first two movies to really shine.

This story is the most complicated yet, and would take at least three paragraphs to include everything. The short version; Spiderman wants to marry Mary Jane, Spiderman, impressed with his popularity, goes through a selfish period and pushes MJ away, Spiderman and an alien symbiote form an unhealthy relationship, Spiderman's anger begins to control him (with help from said symbiote) as he fights a new villain who may have killed his uncle, Spidey and Harry continue their long standing feud, a young upstart reporter develops a new feud, and all of these plots come together in a breathless final half hour. And that's not even mentioning Gwen Stacy, the new love interest who comes between Mary Jane and Peter, or the arrival of Venom, who swings in during the last act.

It's jam packed, and like any film trying to cram so much plot into a two and a half hour running time, many elements feel shafted. Gwen Stacy is only allowed to be a pawn in this film, and despite Bryce Dallas Howard's winning performance her role is vastly underdeveloped. Howard brings such warmth to her thinly written character that I desperately wanted to see her become a full member of the cast. Same goes for Topher Grace who is hilarious in an underwritten role as the secondary villain, Eddie Brock. He shines in all his scenes, but when he asks God to kill Peter Parker, it feels like the story has skipped several character beats.

The pacing is off at the start as well. With so many separate storylines at play, the movie opts for random encounters rather than properly built up scenes. A fight scene between Harry and Peter feels arbitrarily placed, the introduction of the Sandman feels rushed, and the film doesn't feel like it has truly started until an hour in.

Now, all of this seems to imply that Spider-Man 3 isn't a good film, but it eventually does find it's footing, and Peter's emotional journey, by and large, is compelling. The last half, especially after Peter succumbs to the partying lifestyle brought forth by the alien symbiote, feels far more energetic than the scenes that precede it. Sam Raimi brings out his bag of old tricks and offers up some campy, but funny sequences.

Everything does tie together in the end, and I was pleasantly surprised, despite its disjointedness, to see that the big emotional moments do pay off. The ongoing storyline, established in the first movie between Peter and Harry works best in these final scenes. It's hard not to root for Peter Parker, and the actors, particularly Thomas Haden Church, bring resonance to scenes that could easily have been cheesy.

Spider-Man 3 is a hulking behemoth of a movie, that fortunately finds a way to level out before it veers wildly off course. It's two movies in one, and at least one of those movies is genuinely good.

*** out of 4

Hot Fuzz

The "Second" film is one of the toughest projects any creative team must endure. How does one follow up a successful film, knowing that fans are expecting something that is contradictory - an entirely new film that still reminds them of the first one? Hot Fuzz, the new comedy from director Edgar Wright, writer/star Simon Pegg, and actor Nick Frost, manages to do just that.

After the wonderful genre-bending Shaun of the Dead, which somehow managed to be a hilarious parody of zombie films, a scary horror film, a romantic comedy, and even an emotional tragedy all rolled into one, they have taken on a new genre - police films; or more specifically testosterone injected police films like Point Break and Bad Boys II. And much like their previous film, they aren't interested in just making a spoof. Hot Fuzz plays around with the genre, and dives headfirst into the adsurd, but it simultaneously manages to be one of the best buddy cop films since Lethal Weapon.

Sergeant Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg) is the best police officer in London. He's so good, that he makes everyone else look awful, so his superiors ship him off to a small, peaceful town where the biggest villains are the grafitti spraying teenagers, and the tacky performance artists. But, soon after he arrives, a series of gruesome accidents befall several townspeople, and Angel, always one to sniff out a crime thinks a conspiracy is afoot. The only problem is, the other police officers, especially his new partner, movie obsessed Danny Butterman (Nick Frost), haven't encountered a murder in more than twenty years.

The jokes start slowly, and the movie takes time to build its story. Hot Fuzz isn't in a rush to bash you over the head with self referential in jokes like most parodies. It introduces the characters, the small town, the locals. It's all very British. But, ever so slowly, the American police film sensibility starts to intrude on the locale. It starts with a fast paced foot chase that Michael Bay would be proud of, it continues with an unlikely friendship between two vastly different partners, and ends with a.....well....I don't want to ruin the joke, but needless to say, these guys haven't tossed aside gore-filled mayhem just yet.

The result is a spoof that is intensely funny (I laughed consistently throughout the last half hour), but also suprisingly sweet (aside from the impalements and decapitations). Even though they are having fun with the police genre, Wright, Penn, and Frost, manage to create a movie that is more emotionally involving than most of the big budget Hollywood action flicks. You really want that central friendship to work out! Quirks and all, these characters are fun to watch, and seeing them embrace their inner action star provides a genuine level of excitement that is one part thrilling and one part absurd. It's both playful homage and the genuine article.

Their second film manages to embrace the spirit of their first while still taking new risks. With Hot Fuzz, these guys prove they are the real deal.

Star Rating - **** out of 4

Grindhouse

I mentioned in my review of 300 that it felt like “an exercise in excess rather than a rollicking journey into depravity.” I suppose the best way to truly explain that statement is to encourage people to see Grindhouse. It’s vile, repulsive, nauseating, shocking, depraved, and the most inventively entertaining movie I’ve seen in years. If you can’t handle extreme gore (and there must have been at least ten people walk out of the theatre when I saw it) then this movie isn’t for you. Yes, I know it’s two movies side by side, but for some reason I don’t know if either one would work without the other. The manic passion of Robert Rodriguez’s splatterfest Planet Terror helps ignite the simmering fire of Tarantino’s deliberately paced, sledge hammer of a movie, Death Proof (which by far has the most intense ending). I’ll try and review them separately though…

Planet Terror – Finally, Rodriguez lets loose with a balls to the wall (quite literally at times) comic gorefest. I’ve been waiting for him to make a movie as chaotic and bizarre as From Dusk Till Dawn for years (yeah, Sin City was pretty cool, but just didn't have the same rush for me), and Planet Terror answers the call.

After some toxic zombie gas is unleashed on a small Texas town, the locals start to get a bit bloodthirsty. It’s up to the local, recent amputee go-go dancer Cherry, her gun loving, knife wielding ex-boyfriend El Wray, a sedative obsessed doctor Dakota, the local sheriff, and Texas’ best barbeque chef to take care of business. What follows is a mind numbing array of hideous visceral gags, hilariously clichéd character arcs (the secret recipe!), and a script that moves from one location to the next with astounding speed and ferocity. It’s the kind of movie that finds time for a sex scene in the midst of a zombie siege.

Now, in these kinds of movies I’m constantly looking to see if it can possibly surpass my gross out quotient. I have a fairly high tolerance level for gore, so something has to be pretty disgusting in order to make me squirm. Well, I’m pleased to report that Planet Terror has some nice little tricks up its sleeve that made me wince (oh man…that broken wrist).

And all of this action is supported by characters who, even in their two dimensions, are interesting and unique. The eclectic cast is ready for anything, playing each ridiculous moment as seriously as possible, with the occasional knowing wink. I mean, how do you play a scene where your ex-boyfriend rigs together a machine gun leg for you?

Planet Terror is a brutal blast of goofy energy, that only lags a bit at the ending when the plot kicks in. Otherwise, it’s a fantastic bit of gore cinema that keeps topping itself with one bizarre set piece after another.

Death Proof – After an intermission with some fun fake trailers (Eli Roth, you are a sick man!), Tarantino unleashes Death Proof. After the rollicking fun of Planet Terror, it takes a pretty long time to get used to the slooowwww pace employed in this movie. A group of girls plan a night out at a bar, go to said bar, and meet a former stuntman (Kurt Russell) who may have an ulterior motive. There’s a lot of flirting, dancing, and drinking…there’s also a lot of dialogue, so much so that I was starting to get antsy, wondering why I was being tortured to sit through one more conversation.

And then Tarantino shows his hand. Death Proof is the most manipulative film Tarantino has devised thus far. While Rodriguez tries to fill all ninety minutes of his movie with jam packed entertainment, Tarantino is working on creating a cumulative effect. In a way, Death Proof is a redneck version of Psycho…or…maybe because of the level of homage at work here…a redneck version of Dressed to Kill (I mean there are numerous De Palma references). I got the feeling that Death Proof was trying to be boring; spending so much time in the mundane lives of these characters, that when the film strikes back, it’s not just a simple moment that washes away quickly.

When the film finally kicks into gear (about forty minutes in), the effect is incredibly intense. The kills in Death Proof aren’t just tossed aside; they are brutal, emotional, and not easy to shake. There aren’t a lot of surprises along the way, but I do have to say that I certainly haven’t gripped my armrest that tightly in a long time.

The last twenty minutes are insane….

And I couldn’t do the film any justice without talking about Kurt Russell who gives one of his most exciting performances to date. Without saying too much, his character change at the end is a brave, unconventional choice, and Russell dives right in, unafraid of looking foolish. It makes the last scene, in particular, ten times more brutal.

Overall, Grindhouse is one of the most exciting movie going experiences to hit mainstream cinemas in a long, long time. By diving headfirst into exploitation filmmaking, Tarantino and Rodriguez haven’t changed the face of cinema, but they certainly have put most modern American horror flicks to shame.

Star Rating **** out of 4 stars

300

300 oozes with testosterone, throwing ripped muscles, gory decapitations, writhing women, and machismo speeches on screen with unrelenting frequency. Unfortunately, 300 offers little else, especially in the oh-so-important detail of providing interesting characters (everyone blends together into one big bearded army-aton), so after the first half hour it starts to feel like an exercise in excess, rather than a rollicking journey into depravity.

The story is quite simple, 300 Spartan warriors under the leadership of King Leonidas try to take on a vast number of Persian soldiers. Fighting ensues.

Visually, 300 is stunning (easily one of the most darkly beautiful movies I’ve seen in a while), but the images can’t do anything to save an emotionally one note script. The Spartans live solely to fight honourably. Nothing they do throughout the entire course of the movie disputes that fact, and the characters rarely drop their warrior facades. The filmmakers love the textures, and the colours of this world, but they don’t love the people.

The battle scenes have moments of inspiration (watching the soldiers use real Spartan fighting techniques is cool), but ultimately they blend together into an emotionless block of time where horrible things happen to characters I couldn’t care less about.

An interesting subplot finally develops between Xerxes, the Persian Empire’s God complexing leader, and Leonidas, about what one would be willing to sacrifice in order to achieve amazing power. It brings up questions that I felt should have been explored, but weren’t, questions that at the very least would have provided Leonidas with an emotion other than anger. Why is Leonidas so intent on fighting the Persians without a full army, knowing full well that he is heading into a suicide mission? Why is Leonidas so loyal to his men when he hardly seems to know any of them? The movie chooses not to explore Leonidas’ obsessions or motivations at all, instead allowing every personality disorder to be explained with the line, “WE ARE SPARTANS!!!” Yes, yes, you are…….

Well… “I AM BORED!!!”

300, while breathtakingly rich in its imagery, feels as artificial as the computer generated backdrops.

Star Rating ** out of 4

Zodiac

Zodiac is an exhausting movie, a nearly three hour crime film filled with volumes of information on one of the most bizarre serial killers of all time. It’s also continuously fascinating to watch, surviving a somewhat jarring second half leap forward in time by allowing the characters, along with the audience, to fully sink deeper and deeper into a never ending world of facts and statistics.

Zodiac tells the story of how police from many jurisdictions, several news reporters, a rogue cartoonist, handwriting experts, and many more trained professionals worked tirelessly (some more obsessively than others) to try and solve the psychological war of terror the Zodiac Killer declared on the San Francisco area in the late sixties and early seventies. Those expecting a suspense thriller will be very disappointed (although the scenes recreating Zodiac’s murders are disturbing). Instead this movie is more like one of Zodiac’s ciphers, a mystery hidden behind decades’ worth of clues and leads, that is slowly unlocked as the movie progresses.

Although the film is fascinated by procedure, it never feels clinical. Each actor manages to find subtle (or in Robert Downey Jr.’s case, not so subtle, but probably very relatable) ways of making their characters come to life. Mark Ruffalo and Jake Gyllenhaal anchor the movie with quiet, yet intense portrayals of the two men who can’t shake the Zodiac killer. The excitement that envelops them any time they make a connection or a realization is invigorating to watch.

My one big complaint in the film stems from the rather routine manner in which Chloe Sevigny’s character is handled. She plays Gyllenhaal’s long suffering wife who watches as he sinks further and further into the Zodiac mystery, but it’s tired material that is handled in an obvious and rather boring manner. Unfortunately, this storyline pops up in the second half of the movie, and drags the pacing down immensely.

For the majority of its running time though, Zodiac is enthralling, bringing to life a frustrating and unconventional investigation.

Star Rating ***1/2 out of 4

Smokin' Aces

Smokin’ Aces is messy; a loud cacophony of a film that is tonally all over the map. Yet in the midst of this depraved chaos, director Joe Carnahan finds great moments. It’s easy to see the many flaws, and there are numerous problems with this flick (the kid in the karate uniform is one of the worst movie characters of all time!), but there’s a boundless enthusiasm at work here, and a crazed sense of creativity.

The plot is much simpler than the movie would have you believe. There’s a witness, Buddy Israel (Jeremy Piven) who is about to testify against the mob. The mob wants him dead and offers a million dollars to whoever can do it. So, while Buddy is holed up in the penthouse suite of a Lake Tahoe hotel a whole slew of bizarre assassins tries to kill him while the FBI tries to keep him alive. Yep, Smokin’ Aces is essentially It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World by way of Pulp Fiction with a coked out snitch under the Big “W” rather than a suitcase of cash.

What makes Smokin’ Aces stand out from the recent rash of high octane crime flicks is that it doesn’t play everything for laughs. There are funny moments, to be sure, but Carnahan isn’t making a comedy; he’s making a grand over the top melodrama, and there are several scenes that reach bizarre emotional heights. From an assassin comforting his dying victim to a distraught sniper desperately trying to protect the woman she loves, Carnahan’s script slips beneath the cool veneers of these characters and exposes, if only for a moment or two, their true selves. That’s not to say Smokin’ Aces is deep or profound, it isn’t, but it at least allows its cast of amoral characters a chance to be human, which seems so rare in today’s “cool” action flicks.

And once the action kicks in, Smokin’ Aces is intense. There’s nothing too revolutionary, but what is there is smartly choreographed, well shot, and suspenseful. A confrontation in an elevator between an FBI agent and one of the assassins, where a tiny change in body language could lead to sudden death, is gripping. Equally impressive is a gore-drenched battle involving three nihilist killers, chainsaws, shotguns, bombs, and a group of vastly unprepared security guards.

Smokin’ Aces takes one too many unnecessary detours to be truly great (when that karate kid shows up gauge out your eyeballs – you’ll thank me later), and skims over characters you want to spend more time with, but it’s a fun ride overall.

Star Rating *** out of 4

Pan's Labyrinth

Pan’s Labyrinth is what good horror is all about, and make no mistake about it, as much as people are trying to “legitimize” it by calling it a Fairy Tale, this a scary horror flick that also happens to be one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking films in recent memory.

In 1944, a small girl, Ofelia, and her pregnant mother move to a mansion in the Spanish hills to live with Captain Vidal, the mother’s new husband and an officer of the Nationalist army. He has been sent there in order to defeat a Republican militia stationed in the hills, and wants his son to be born by his side no matter what the cost. Ofelia, an imaginative girl, discovers that a Labyrinth behind the house is a doorway to another world, a world where she may in fact be a princess. In order to escape the escalating horrors around her, Ofelia must complete three difficult tasks before she is accepted into the magical kingdom.

Guillermo Del Toro has always been a director who can conjure up terrifying images like no one else, but his imagery has always exceeded the quality of his scripts, until now. Del Toro never shies away from reality in Pan’s Labyrinth, despite the magical undercurrent, and it’s this unwavering commitment that gives the film a sense of urgency. He depicts this small war in graphic detail, and the characters grapple with enormous moral choices that could lead to death at any moment. Captain Vidal is a terrifying character; the true monster of the film, and his brutal and unpredictable actions create a constant sense of peril for our protagonists.

It’s this environment that leads Ofelia into the magical world of fauns and princesses, and while the horrors are more visually astonishing, the journey is just as frightening for her.
The fears in Ofelia’s world are the fears of a child. She’s confronted on a simple visceral level by crawling bugs, mud pits, and horrible creatures (The Pale Man will get under your skin), but also on a more emotional level with powerlessness, abandonment, and loneliness. It’s the impact of the war filtered through the mind of a child, taking fears she cannot emotionally deal with and turning them into something simple and tangible.

By the time Del Toro reaches the end of his film, both narrative threads combine brilliantly to create an achingly touching finale.

Pan’s Labyrinth takes the horror film to a new level of artistry, showing that with the right talent, stories about monsters and hidden worlds can be just as gut wrenching and rewarding as anything else.

Star Rating **** (out of 4)

Children of Men

Children of Men is a stunning achievement; a science fiction film that provides an emotionally rich story, thought provoking material, and some of the most awe-inspiring visuals I’ve seen in years.

In 2027 women are infertile all over the world. The youngest person, aged 18, has just been killed, and in 50 years it looks as though the human race will become just a memory. Theo (Clive Owen) has just about given up on life, until his ex-wife (Julianne Moore), the leader of a terrorist organization, asks for his help. He reluctantly agrees, only to find himself in the midst of a journey that could ultimately save humanity.

Director Alfonso Cuaron and his creative team dive into perfecting a completely textured and complex world. This isn’t a high tech science fiction landscape, but it is the most captivating futuristic world I’ve seen on film since Blade Runner. Every corner of every frame tells a piece of this story, and Cuaron isn’t afraid to reveal what lies at the murky bottom of each corner. From opulent palaces to inhuman ghettos, no area is left unexplored.

In this world, Cuaron takes his characters on an enormous emotional voyage, dropping them into the midst of horrific rebellions, but never dwelling on the brutality. The film’s most wondrous qualities are its optimism, tenderness, and sense of humour even in the face of shocking violence. It never trivializes the tragedies that occur, but Cuaron continually emphasizes that it is compassion and humour that keep the human race alive.

It’s been two days since I’ve seen Children of Men, and there are so many scenes that I just can’t get out of my head. From quiet personal moments to intense action scenes, Cuaron tells his story with a masterful hand, utilizing extraordinary filmic techniques. The highlight of the film is a ten minute chase scene, shot in one continuous take, through an urban warzone. It’s intense, riveting, and one of the few times in a movie where I have physically had to lift my jaw off the floor. And it’s only one of ten equally impressive moments.

Children of Men will be a film that I constantly return to in the years to come.

Star Rating **** (out of 4)

Casino Royale Review

For 3/4 of its running time, I figured that Casino Royale was poised to become the best Bond film in ages.

I should preface this review by saying that I am a pretty big fan of the Bond series. I've seen them all a few times. I'm a Connery fan rather than a Moore fan, and I think that Dalton is the most underrated, while Brosnan is the most overrated.

I liked that Casino Royale was going back to the basics. Die Another Day was a tad over the top for my liking. So, tonight I settled into my seat and was hoping to see something very rare, a Bond film that was actually emotionally involving.

And for the longest time it was. I was making a mental checklist at how every Bond staple seemed fresh and original this time out.

First off, Daniel Craig is fantastic as Bond. This Bond actually seems....gasp...human, and his enormous ego is seen as being...no way...an actual weakness. Le Chiffre is a great addition to the Bond rogues gallery of villains; a maniacal terrorist banker who is actually allowed to be vulnerable for a change (and the fact that he cries blood is one of those lovely little details all the great Bond villains have). And Eva Green easily surpasses every Bond girl since Diana Rigg in On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

So, where did it all go wrong?

Two words. Plot Twists! Don't worry, I will tread carefully so as not to reveal any of these "brilliant" twists.

Can we please put a moratorium on plot twists...please? For every movie that has a plot twist that actually brings you closer to a character, there are ten other movies that throw them out because they don't know how to write believable character arcs and they need to wake up their audience.

The plot twists in Casino Royale are so convoluted that the biggest emotional moment in the entire film, and what should be the biggest emotional moment in the entire series, is a confusing mess. It takes a minute of exposition after the scene is over for the audience to finally understand why we should have cared about it in the first place.

The last act of Casino Royale is disasterous!!! Every emotion rings false. Every twist is unnecessary. Every second is awful.

Casino Royale is a bad bluff. You think you're getting ready to see a Royal Flush, but in the end you realize that all they ever had was a pair of dueces.

Star Rating - ** (out of 4)