Transformers

What a bizarre, mess of a movie. Transformers is perhaps the most unusual film of the year (or any year for that matter); a sci-fi epic that is gloriously over-the-top, hardly makes a lick of sense (I doubt even the human characters are from Planet Earth), and ends with the most bombastic and chaotic action scene I have ever seen.

As the final credit rolled I couldn't tell if Michael Bay had just directed the most brilliant B-movie of all time, or a colossally misguided clunker. Regardless, or perhaps because of its schizophrenic nature, I enjoyed the film, although often for reasons that I'm sure were unintentional.

Everything actually starts out quite well. There's an impressive action scene involving a group of American soldiers in Qatar who are attacked by a helicopter Transformer. Then, the action cuts to the story of Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), a nerdy teen, who is looking forward to buying his first car so he'll have better luck with the ladies. LaBeouf is surprisingly good in the role, and the early scenes involving the purchase of his Transformer car are pretty funny.

Then Bay introduces the female love interest played by Megan Fox, and the warning light starts flashing. I get that the movie is made for teenage boys, so I'm not expecting a deep relationship, but Fox is clearly window dressing, a complete and utter male fantasy who Michael Bay shoots with a fetishistic glee that would be more at home on Skinemax. You see, she's hot, but deep down she just wants to be around guys who appreciate her true talents, like the fact that she knows everything about cars (clearly something most guys would find unattractive and repulsive).

Then the movie just starts introducing an abundance of random characters on top of Sam, and the soldiers we met in the opening scene. Jon Voight shows up as the defense secretary, and there's a whole bunch of attractive code breakers. Suddenly, the script's subplots start mounting, and it becomes painfully clear that the movie is turning into a jumbled mess.

The central concept of a boy buying a car with special powers, while potentially interesting, is never really developed. Bay is too interested getting into the meaty robot action scenes to spend any considerable time with the characters.

At this point I have to admit I was worried. I didn't really care about anyone in the movie, aside from Sam (LaBeouf really should be commended for his gusto), too much was happening that I could care less about (those code breakers kept coming back with other, wackier code breakers), and the humour was becoming stale. But, just as I was giving up hope, an interesting thing started to happen. The heroic Transformers arrived from outer space and suddenly the movie decided that logic, and tone were unimportant.

There is a sequence halfway through the movie where the Transformers want to get some historical eye-glasses from Sam (long story) and they hide out in his yard, while Sam's parents start to become suspicious that something weird is going on. This section of the movie could quite literally be from an episode of Three's Company with Sam's parents as the Ropers, and the Transformers as the beautiful women Jack Tripper (Sam) is trying to prevent them from seeing. The fifty foot Transformers hide behind trees, under trellises, and in the bushes, all while Sam's parents (who must have lost their vision and hearing since the beginning of the movie) believe Sam is up to some independent sexual exploration in his room. The scene goes on and on, getting worse and worse, yet oddly hilarious, with each passing second. It's a train wreck of a scene, and just when I didn't think it could get any more ridiculous, John Turturro knocks on Sam's front door.

Now I like John Turturro, but someone seems to have forgotten to tell him that Transformers was not being directed by the Coen Brothers. Turturro enters the movie in full-on Barton Fink bat-ass crazy mode.

All of the plot threads converge oh so conveniently at the Hoover Dam subterranean alien laboratory (where it is finally revealed that aside from Sam's story, the other plots are utterly useless and were indeed just a waste of time), and it doesn't take long for Megatron, the evil alien robot, to cause some havoc with the heroic Transformers, who pass time by sitting on top of Griffith Observatory like it's a park bench.

The grand finale; a half hour robot smackdown in the streets of Los Angeles is, unfortunately not very imaginative (although there are some clever moments), but Bay seems to cover up his lack of ideas by blowing up every single thing known to mankind. It's messy chaos. Half the time I couldn't tell which robots were fighting, and the action is so busy, that it is difficult to follow what is even happening. The army guys yell a lot and shoot their guns. Sam runs a lot. Sam's hot girlfriend finally does something useful involving a tow truck (remember she's really knowledgeable about cars). Basically, it's just a whole lot of insanity, with an ending that I still don't really understand.

Yet, despite how bad it all is, it's so goofy, and entertaining that I couldn't stop laughing. Every year I usually nominate a tongue-in-cheek B-movie that is ten times more fun than it has every right to be (movies like Deep Blue Sea or The Core). I have to say that despite it's huge budget, big name pedigree, and the fact that I'm not sure if it was trying to be tongue-in-cheek, Transformers is my top nomination for the year. For those still on the fence I will refer you to the scene where Turturro takes on a mini-transformer with a flame thrower while Jon Voight dutifully backs him up with a shotgun. It may not be high art, but a moment like that is some form of cinematic bliss.

Star Rating **1/2 out of 4

Ratatouille

Thank goodness for Pixar!

After a disappointing start to the summer movie season (with no real stand out films), Ratatouille is a beacon of hope, proudly declaring that good, entertaining movies with interesting characters and exciting action still exist. It may be marketed as a children's film, but don't let that fool you. This is quite simply the smartest, most mature popcorn flick of the year, not mention the most fun.

It's not that I should be overly surprised. Pixar has consistently put out movies that are so creative and refreshing, that they have become somewhat of a Godsend in the often soulless pit of Hollywood blockbuster filmmaking. Even their last film Cars, which I will admit is my least favourite of their movies, managed to show last year's onslaught of hyperactive cartoons that you don't need screaming characters, constant action, hip comedy, and a script that talks down to its audience in order to make a heartfelt children's film.

Simply put, they know what they're doing, and Ratatouille is wonderful. It's about a rat, Remy, who wants to be the finest chef in all of Paris, and is given his chance when he teams up with a bumbling dishboy, Linguini, at a legendary (albeit past its prime) restaurant. When Remy's meals start winning over new customers, it's Linguini who takes the credit, but head chef Skinner isn't about to let the upstart cook take over his kitchen.

Ratatouille succeeds on three major levels. It provides interesting characters and allows them to grow, it manages to create a rat's eye view of the world that hilariously comments on human nature, and it unifies everything with a heart warming theme that is instantly relatable to every audience member. It's the Pixar model of success - Character, Point of View, and Theme.

Aside from Remy and Linguini, our leading duo, Ratatouille is filled with wonderful characters. My favourite being Anton Ego, the harshest food critic in Paris voiced to perfection by Peter O'Toole. Ego lives for food, but has forgotten how to enjoy the simple pleasures in life. He writes in a coffin shaped room, hoping that his scathing criticisms will doom mediocre restaurants. Ego has very little screen time, but the Pixar team manages to use every second to create a fleshed out monster. As the story nears it's conclusion, Ego has a monologue, so well written and delivered, that I found myself more emotionally involved with his supporting character than I have been with most film's lead characters.

As for the point of view, it's difficult to make a movie that refreshingly looks through the eyes of an animal species, but Ratatouille manages to make almost everything fresh. Sure there are a few scenes where the "humans are bad" symbolism is a bit heavy, but for the most part Remy's conflict between following his outlandish humanized dream or appeasing his garbage-loving rat family is unique. I also particularly enjoy how Remy is merely a bystander to a world he vaguely understands. He has no control, and at times is caught up in a whirlwind of human activity in order to survive. A thrilling sequence early on has Remy trying to escape the kitchen while avoiding detection. It's an exceptionally exciting set piece, and it's hiliarious to see how a common kitchen can be a series of death traps.

But it wouldn't mean anything if there wasn't a theme to connect all the dots. This time, it's broadly stated in the title of the book Remy adores called Anyone Can Cook. While the follow you dreams theme has been excessively used in past movies, it has rarely felt more suitable or original than in Ratatouille. As the multiple plot threads weave toward the finale, everything connects in an emotionally fulfilling way. I will admit to even being a bit choked up by the film.

Ratatouille is easily one of my favourite films of the year. It's brilliant, and further cements Pixar's repuation as the best animation studio, or film studio for that matter, in North America. Not since the early days of Walt Disney has there been such a consistent outpouring of excellence by a group of dedicated artists. It's a shame I have to wait another year for their next movie.

Star Rating - **** out of 4